So today for all intensive purposes I will say that I am feeling a little overwhelmed. I know that I configured this blog to showcase my work and other artists that inspire me, but somehow I have started to get into the habit of talking about myself, which is sort of weird...
I am coming to a point where I almost feel like I need a helper, an intern, or an imaginary friend to help me accomplish all of the things that used to be so easy for me to do before I had a child. I have about 5 projects in continuous rotation, but it never seems like I am getting anywhere with them at all. I guess this is from years of always sitting in my studio and working on something until it was finished or until my eyes started hurting. Well, having my son has sort of put the brakes on that. Between Ian, work, cooking for the family, looking for a new job, and artistic projects I feel like a piece of toast with not enough butter to spread across the whole piece. I keep going though.
Last night my son said for the very first time, "I love you mommy". I never understood how much hearing him say that while giving me a hug would lift my spirits so high. It keeps my perspective about things. He is almost 2 now, and some days I feel like a punching bag between the rough-housing, grouchiness, and temper tantrums, but in between he stops and smiles at me and gives me a kiss... that is the sweetest and makes it all worth while really.
I guess the point to this little story is that I am overwhelmed and maybe putting too much pressure on myself to be getting things done. I will be showcasing my work until I am old and my arthritis prevents me from being able to lift pencil to paper, so maybe I should try relaxing every once in a while. I can't really ever relax though, it is not in my nature. So I will be overwhelmed and push myself farther and farther but all the while I keep in mind that I do it for Ian.